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Kusanagi

treasure your parents

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Treasure your parents as you don't know how long you will have them, as I have just lost my mom yesterday morning due to heart failure caused by cancer.

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Sorry to hear that.  Quite apart from the loss, it's got to be a sobering moment when you suddenly realise you are now the oldest generation....... 

Bloody cancer - seems to be an awful lot of it about just now.

Nick

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Thanks, the thing what is real distressing is that it was only diagnosed 4 weeks ago and my mom was supposed to go for a pre op test today ( Friday ) , the hospital tried doing a pre op 2 weeks ago but my mom was suffering from a high pulse rate which kept on changing so the hospital stopped the tests and set up a new appointment as I have mentioned already for when her pulse rate would have been better due to some new drugs she had been given, but my mom collapsed in dads and my arms as we tried to help get her comfortable. Apparently as the surgeon at A&E told us what had happened a main blood vessel which went through the tumour had split and had caused massive internal bleeding which caused kidney failure and massive heart failure from which my mom did not recover from.

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Also sorry to hear your news. I lost my mum on Boxing Day 2010 to all the dreadful consequences of diabetes, and then my dad nine months later to prostate cancer that had spread to his bones. Both suffered in agony for the last few weeks of their lives. I do my best to put it from my mind. 

It is, as Nick says, a sobering thought to know that we are the next in line. I've come to the conclusion that the best any of us can hope for is that dying will be quick and painless. 

My only advice to you would be to always focus on the happy times you had with your mom, and forget about this distressing time as best you can. Also, be prepared that what has happened might well not really hit you for a few months yet. I didn't have time to grieve for my mum, because I was too busy looking after my dad, so it wasn't until about six months after he died that it all caught up with me. 

Best wishes, 

Darren

 

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Thanks guys, it has been hard sorting everything out, not a day goes by without me falling to pieces over something small. Helping my dad deal with his grief has also been hard as he was married almost 56 years, he has been keeping busy during the day sorting out my mums bits and pieces but during the evening he has been having trouble going to bed as he is finding the bedroom to empty to go into at night.

 Once the funeral is over with I am planning on taking him out to some museums and such so we are not stuck in the house brooding all the time.

Again thanks,

Karl.

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