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15 hours ago, Nick Jones said:

:huh:

 

12 hours ago, JohnD said:

Wrong thread?   Meant for Transit one?  In which case thanks, Escadrille, never thought of that.

Chaos and confusion reigns. My work here is done!

Apologies gentlemen. My response does actually relate to this thread - though also to the Transit engine I suppose - however it appears to have arrived approximately two years too late :blink:

PS @JohnD I do rather like your ghetto swarf extractor. One to be filed away for future use.

Hopefully this arrives while it is still reasonably relevant.

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Shamelessly stolen from the Book of Face, I can't recall seeing it here before but felt it worth posting regardless!!   TOOLS EXPLAINED DRILL PRESS : A tall upright machine useful for s

Today, I was drilling holes in 1" aluminium plate, with a hole saw in a pillar drill.    Worked fine, until the slot got deepr than the teeth in the edge of the saw.     With nowhere to go, the swarf

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Once again, you may like to look and drool over an online auction:

https://www.bidspotter.co.uk/en-gb/auction-catalogues/timed/ramco/catalogue-id-ramco-10249?utm_source=bs-amp&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=ramco&utm_term=20201008-pr&utm_content=ramco-10249-maincta&archivesearch=False&page=1

Forty pages of items!    Lots of troeque wrenches, all sizes, multimeters, block gauge sets, Vee blocks, parallels, plus an amazing ranhe of other things.       Field kitchens, military wire cutters, a Theodolite, for goodness sake,priced at £5 complete in it's own case240 ammunition boxes (empty) for 2p each.  It's an Aladdin's Cave of kit!

 d806e073-a2ca-4ae3-a7b8-ac4700f8c80b.jpg?w=540&h=360

I especially like the torque wrench testers, to ensure the accuracy of your torque wrench - except, how do you ensure the accuracy of your torque wrench tester?

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43 minutes ago, JohnD said:

a Theodolite, for goodness sake,priced at £5 complete in it's own case 240 ammunition boxes (empty) for 2p each.  It's an Aladdin's Cave of kit!

 d806e073-a2ca-4ae3-a7b8-ac4700f8c80b.jpg?w=540&h=360

I especially like the torque wrench testers, to ensure the accuracy of your torque wrench - except, how do you ensure the accuracy of your torque wrench tester?

I do like the theodolite. The case is wonderful!

Torque wrench testers get calibrated at a calibration centre UKAS (United kingdom Accreditation Service) accredited who will provide you with a certificate (for a cost of about £100 for a torque wrench tester) stating the accuracy and measurement uncertainty (look that one up if you can be bothered) of said torque tester.

Many years ago I was involved in setting up a UKAS (or NAMAS as it was called at the time) test centre for environmental testing of munitions, rockets, missiles and assorted other stuff. Right palaver too. Lots of paperwork, lots and lots. Plus a whole load of stuff for the munitions over and above.

Biggest thing we ever dealt with was a Challenger 1 tank on it's transporter, fastest was a flight data recorder, 1000g acceleration test. Unfortunately we lost the first one when the recovery system failed - oops.

Most exotic and one of the first things we did was a re-entry vehicle for the original Polaris. Inert I hasten to add. But I never said that.:thumbsup:

Colin

 

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Shamelessly stolen from the Book of Face, I can't recall seeing it here before but felt it worth posting regardless!!

 

TOOLS EXPLAINED

DRILL PRESS : A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL : Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t'

DROP SAW : A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS : Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER : An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW : One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS : Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH : Used almost entirely for lighting on fire various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

TABLE SAW : A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK : Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW : A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST : A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER : Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER : A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR : A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER : A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER : Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE : Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: aka "Another hammer", aka "the Swedish Nut Lathe", aka "Crescent Wrench". Commonly used as a one size fits all wrench, usually results in rounding off nut heads before the use of pliers. Will randomly adjust size between bolts, resulting in busted buckles, curse words, and multiple threats to any inanimate objects within the immediate vicinity.

Son of a bitch TOOL : Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a b*tch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

 

Hope it makes you all chuckle as it did me,

Phil

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Nice one, Phil!

Have I copied this before?

252000883_PacificFastenersSpecialbolts.thumb.JPG.9344863ba503be7efa61e5cc51e64f37.JPG

Colin,  "environmental testing of munitions, rockets, missiles"    Bit of a non-sequitor, surely?    Munitions tned to have deleterious effect on the environment, don't they, that's what they re supposed to do?

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1 hour ago, JohnD said:

Colin,  "environmental testing of munitions, rockets, missiles"    Bit of a non-sequitor, surely? 

Environmental engineering is commonly known as 'shake rattle and roll' John, though it includes things like temperature cycling and humidity too.  In the broader sense an environment isn't just confined to just hugging trees and cute furry animals you know......

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1 hour ago, Escadrille Ecosse said:

Yes, we did a lot of that!

 

1 hour ago, DeTRacted said:

Environmental engineering is commonly known as 'shake rattle and roll' John, though it includes things like temperature cycling and humidity too.  In the broader sense an environment isn't just confined to just hugging trees and cute furry animals you know......

stuff hugging trees!   its the possibilty of their sudden coversion to matchwood that I was curious about!

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1 hour ago, JohnD said:

its the possibilty of their sudden coversion to matchwood that I was curious about!

We did some trials of a guided anti tank missile training round. This was filled with paint (much like Kelly's Heroes) on the basis that the grunts could practice with and the coloured splash would show whether or not they could hit the target.

Unfortunately the paint marking didn't work. After lots of (vert expensive) testing we determined that they had tried to save about thruppence ha'penny by reducing the quantity of pigment in the paint and the acceleration on launch cause the oil and pigment to separate. So on hitting the target the less dense pigment got washed off my the more dense oil carrier. Doh!

Anyway we needed to simulate the boost acceleration curve of the missile to replicate the launch condition which we did using a device called a gas gun. This took the round up to just subsonic in less than 1m and then impacted on a 1" thick steel target plate.

Unfortunately they didn't always fly straight (particularly if the sabot didn't separate cleanly), the warhead or sabot would ricochet off the target or after anywhere between 3 and 8 rounds would actually penetrate the plate.

The resulting shrapnel gradually took out most of the downrange birch trees. Some of which were up to 8" in diameter.

Lots of matchwood.

 

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