33 replies to this topic

[mattius]

Medication is definatly not for everyone, and in some cases can actually make you more depressed, bear in mind they are all also highly addictive and doctors seem happy to let you go on them for years and years. It then takes months to get off them and causes more pain than they helped in the first place!

[JohnD]

Matt, All,
You are partly right, Matt, but only partly.

If anyone, sufferers, family or friends, wants to get accurate and helpful information about manic  depression (it's called Bipolar Disorder, these days) may I suggest you go to the site of MDF The Bipolar Organisation?
http://www.mdf.org.uk/

There's a lot on that site, but their "Self-Management Courses" look very interesting and useful.
http://www.mdf.org.uk/?o=315026

John

[mattius]

I dont really believe in listening to the doctors anymore, every person is different in these cases. fluoxetine is a relatively mild version of an anti depressant however i class that drug (and all the others) almost as bad as weed, its a false high which almost always has a come down which is worse than the initial symptoms. Plus the way these drugs are designed it robs you of all emotions, meaning you are a pretty dull person most of the time.

[davesideways]

After some time studying forums on the matter, endless lists of people who've been on 10 types of mediction and got nowhere, seeing people who were "medicated" with my own eyes, I think the whole lot is a total failure. I've been sectioned, I was hypomanic all the time, I talked to EVERYONE, at their level, can't see it was helping ANYONE, frankly they scared the fuck outta me. Either zoned out, asleep, yawning or putting on masses of weight or wanting to die as they couldn't think straight.

They all needed a nice place outdoors in wales to get well, talk therapy and one-to-one advise.

Problem is the doctors aren't manic, depressive or psychotic, they are utterly clueless about this stuff.

It's the treatment that made me laugh, not even any talking, drug cart out every 6hrs, staff following you around making notes on you all day.

I was a special case, they couldn't work me out, I had the pleasure of being interviewed 2-3 times a day to test me for cracks in my armour, if I was acting or real or what. They sent every single student doctor to study me, one after the other, I played them at poker and beat them all, played them at pool and beat them all, I verbally ran them down, worn them out with articulation and manic talk, struted around like Jesus Christ and healed everyone I saw with my endless desire to talk to them. I wore the staff down with my endless condition descriptions, demands for activities, scribbing notes as fast as their poor hands could go.

So bored I even offered to clean the place. Nothing worked, pool table bust, can't get in the gym for more than 30mins a day, shit food, shit vending machines, people pacing around bored, smoking like trains for something to do, was laughable.

Ask me the NHS look to break you in those places via boredom and misery, it's a scandel, I could go on all day, break you into taking medication via creating the most boring and stimulation lacking environment possible, hell on earth. Good job I was released ASAP I was packed and ready to scale the wall the next day, was only 6 foot (moved to open unit), it was DRIVING ME MAD, making me WORSE.

[davesideways]

I was fixing up the garage tonite, reckon I'll crack on with the rear suspension once the place is in order, working my hands does give me something mentally.

[Mother Teresa]

Getting sectioned these days is quite an achievement in itself, due to the relative lack of psychiatric beds- result Dave! ;D

[davesideways]

Was thinking those threads were great, I wrote 14pages more the other night. If I wrote down all the fucked up shit I do to get manic, stay manic, get randy, get high, get enlightened, get crazy I could have the basis for a book soon, covering my life from 17 to now. I've done some right old stuff I tell you, mostly alone to :) Tugging every string I had.

Getting it down again is the first step then sexing it up with some decent langauge and detail.

[davesideways]

Mother Teresa said:

Getting sectioned these days is quite an achievement in itself, due to the relative lack of psychiatric beds- result Dave! ;D

Gives me atleast 20pages for a book too. That's really the only positive. I wrote it all down too while I was there. About 200 bullit points showing what an utter waste of time it was.

[davesideways]

I almost got out the first night Bruce. I was "resistive", first job after about 5 of them got off me was smashing the window with a chair after menancing the staff with it, I was ready to kill. I felt no pain, they could chop my arms off I'd still bite the fuckers ears off.

I then had about 5 attempts at running through the doors. They failed. I noted they were designed to open the other way, I gave it good go, my finger is still bust, my legs were covered in bruises and scars, put my back out.

Next job was to set off the fire alarms by ripping off the wall fitting and shorting the wires out. That worked but the place was in lock-down. It was a secure place :)

Next task after the staff decided to keep a distance cause I told them I was gonna chew their ears off and stick my fingers into their eyes, that was to manually open the fire-door, involved kicking the fuck out the electric box that locked it, then rewiring it, 4 wires ya. The door opened and I got outside to be confronted with a 30foot wire fence. I got about 20feet up it before falling down, no worries but couldn't escape, cornered. I pumped my cycle shoes into the one guys leg and took him down but I couldn't get past the others. At that point they'd found some bigger guys to sit on me, I was tiring, I decided to give in.

I just didn't like being caged, that's all. Out of order sure, the case worker came round last week and chuckled at how laid back I was, thought she'd got the wrong notes after reading about it; I didn't ask for it, I was in fight mode, flight mode, 2 basic mental processes. I'd have bombed the next day anyway, I was peaked out.
Good job i'd been awake for 5 days, dropped 5 kilos and was worn out, on current form I could do some proper damage, I was on adrenaline only at that time.

Guy who worked there every night was amazed the next night that I was laid back reading a book and watching TV. From full psychotic to easy-rider in 24hrs. Fact is, I was easy-rider before they put me into that place without my consent. Soon as the door closed I was off, psycho-boy.

[mattius]

im impressed i didnt manage to get that far, i just managed to wind up the shrinks by questioning the theories they were using to try and justify their views. They were puppets taught to preach from textbooks rather than to listen to the actual problem.

I believe that all these issues can be controlled by the mind itself, no drugs needed, no need to shout from the rooftops or talk to someone preaching crap.

I hear it all the time at work, high preasure buisness, major stress, peeps going off all the time with depression or stress. You can always tell the ones who actually are, they dont shout it out, they are quite happy to talk about it, but no labeling of themselves. Those that label are the ones who are playing the system.

I thrive on the stress at work i love it, but accumulate that with a whole host of personal life problems relationship breakups and people dieing a slow painfull death around you and it will push you over the edge. I still have the letter from the procurator fiscal saying they were dropping all charges off me for driving without insurance or a licence due to the fact i was not in a fit state of mind at the time of the offences. In fact i had it on my wall for a long time.

Im a very cheery happy person, people who know the ins and outs struggle to comprehend how i could attempt to give up on it all, the problems dont go away, the mind just learns to deal with it and control it. Which is i have found out a lot better way of living than on stupid tablets which make you like dopey from the seven dwarfs and then hyper when you take the pill. Stunts mental growth and life.

The car is my sanctuary, its where i chill and relax, the accident fucked me up again cause the one thing i loved and chilled doing and then hatted and didnt want to do anymore. I was a lost puppy.


anyway too deep for me, im off to get smashed on polish vodka....

[davesideways]

Fit state of mind, whats that lol, someones concept of social cognitives  ;D You'll see what a fit state of mind is if the electric goes off, disease, pandemics, etc etc.

If there was more entertainment at these places I'd gladly go back for a holiday, just turn up acting manic. It was a great part of lifes experience/s.

Getting out in the garage today has done more good than a pill would honestly. It's getting on with it, innit.

2hrs sleep last night helped. Oddly I'm flying this evening. Not at all tired ;D Resetting my clock, oversleeping had slowed me down. Have to watch out for over doing it though.

Even applied for a job earlier, bit overqualified though really but it's handy work. Could be a test of mental strength, see how long I can deal with it. It's been a LONG time since I was employed. I might be able to handle it thesedays, switch off, tune in, cop out for a bit. Could be back in the rentals at Nurburgring before you know it.

[mattius]

whole lot of crap going on with that buisness at the moment according to my belgian contacts (they ring every weekend), the rental guys are in a serious huff with the new owners of the ring taking the piss.

[Mother Teresa]

Society is just an amalgam of social cognitives- weighted toward what is felt to be a reasonable compromise. What on-going follow-up services are you offered by the community mental health team? I don't mean medication specifics, but councilling/talking therapies? Surely that's a more promising route?  :)

[davesideways]

Plenty, I've been talking alot, sadly talking doesn't fix the problem itself, so there's not much point in it, I talk then feel just the same after, it's talking; it's not engineering or problem solving, it's talking, it's not effecting anything other than your jaw bone muscles and tiring you out? Helps you sleep I guess if you talk enough. Problem is the crushing effects of winter lows.

Gonna see a specialist on Tuesday.